11-13-1989 - Agenda Packet City Council - regular meeting

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On my seeing this, attempt at Control #2 was to tell Joe to Ic :ve. Attempt at Control #3 was to demand my son tell me wh.wt was in the footlocker. He replied," We were just playing around.' Attempt at Control #4 was for me to suggest, 'The police station is only a block away. I'll bet Officer Cheswick has a bolt cutter that could snap right through the padlock. Let's ask him to help." Attempt at Control # 5 was to phone Officer Cheswick, whereupon my son breezed out the door and off down the street. My confusion about the real meanings of power and control led to the following scene. I'm standing in the front yard of my home, surrounded by neglected gardens. The plumber's wrench and screwdriver are now in my hands. The police are on the way. My son is whistling down the street with my words ringing in the air, "Young man, you are no longer in charge around here. I'm taking control!" I had gone home early to relax; yet I stood in the midst of absolute chaos, proclaimir. ; myself to be in control. I had lost control of my serenity, choices, afternoon and garden. At that moment, I was completely controlled by chemical dependency. Fixing the Problem? Once a parent comes to the realization that drugs or alcohol create problems for the child, the parent who cares will seek help. This usually involves treatment for the child in a program that specializes in chemical dependency. Too often, the parent regards this treatment in this way: it will "fix" the problem in the same manner that antibiotics fix an ear infection. This is no, the case. Nobody knows the cause of adolescent drug dependency nor does anyone know the cure. Treatment will offer the adolescent time away from drugs/alcohol and :he tools to heal. Treatment will also offer these tools to the family. Families also need to heal. Most programs strive to involve the entire family in treat- ment. Not because the family "cause6" the drug abuse, but because the family has been affected by the drug abuse and its ac- companying behavioral and emotional turmoil. Parents will be involved in lectures, groups, and other meetings at the treatment program. They will also be advised to seek outside support through 12-Step groups such as Alanon, Families Anonymous or Adult Children of Alcoholics. It is often difficult for parents to see the value of attending 12- Step groups. The initial (and very normal) response is, "Why do I have to attend those meetings? My child has been using drugs, not me!" further confusion occurs when the parents attend the first meeting and hear people talk about "letting go," "detach- ment," or being "powerless" over the user. These are difficult concepts for pa: ents. After all, we are responsible for controlling our children's behavior, aren't we?